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Reflect on a personal or business situation in which the cost of conflict was significantly greater than you would've preferred. Analyze the situation in relation to Stewart Levine's 10 principles of new thinking (p. 46). How would this have changed the situation? Could it have reduced the cost of conflict? What lessons did you learn from this exercise?

The cost of a conflict is something that people have to understand and prepare for. Every time a conflict arises, I feel like there is either something to be gained, or something to be lost. this could include emotional losses, financial losses, or losses in time and effort. In order for a resolution to be found, all of the parties involved have to keep an open mind and want for everyone to succeed without any damages occurring. This week I'm going to share with you a personal story about a conflict i encountered and how me and my family avoided high "costs" in this matter and how it worked out for the best.

Earlier this year, I was presented the opportunity to take a job working for the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), in Grand Rapids, Michigan. This was a federal job with a pay increase and retirement options. I had actually been in their hiring program for around a year, do to the government shut downs and delays, I was on hold getting hired. Because of that delay, my wife and I started trying to have a baby. After a little trying, we were successful and because we wanted our children to grow up in an actual home, we bought a house. Not long after both of those situations happened, of course the FAA asked me to leave for schooling three months after our son was born. To me, this was not an option and my wife and I exhausted every option to try to make the new job offer work with our new circumstances. Unfortunately for the FAA, I turned down their offer and we decided to stay in Wisconsin and raise our family here. What we faced was a huge emotional cost. The reason I say that is because we both have family in this area and we knew no one in Michigan. It would have taken a huge toll on us, moving to a new state and not knowing anyone and having the new baby. Secondly, we would have faced huge direct costs. Since we had just bought a home and had the baby (big expenses), we would have had to pay to move, pay to sell our home and paid to buy a new home and everything in between all of those. To us, that was not an option and now that I think about it, it still isn't an option. We are glad we made that choice and everything is working out great.

I personally learned this week that there is a cost associated with everything we do and every situation has it's own circumstances and costs. It became clear to me that sometimes we don't take these costs into consideration and people could be hurt or offended by our efforts. As a leader this was important for me to better understand. I truly gained some perspective in this matter this week and I'm sure it'll help me in the long run.

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This week was interesting to me. I never actually sat down and thought about what my protected values actually are. When I made that outline, I thought of things that applied to my life now, they would have been different a few years ago. I wanted to first address the idea of modernization and the rapid expansion of property in my area. I find this to be worrisome but not the highest on my list of protected values. It is important to me because a lot of our history and heritage is being demolished to bring in more and more cheaper based housing. I'm not sure that it is the best idea and I'm not sure how I would actually go to stop or protect that value,

Secondly, I mentioned that gun rights are important to me. The reason is, this is the right that allows us to protect all the other rights. People have to be able to protect themselves, their family and the other interests in their life. We cannot rely on other people to save us in dire situations and we cannot hand over our guns because we use them recreationally. This is actually something that is quite important to me and I would be willing to go to pretty assertive extremes to make sure that we can always have access to guns.

Last, I mentioned taxes. Who likes paying taxes anymore, or ever? I find that with the way our government is moving, our money is being wasted and used for things that the public doesn't have control over anymore. I want to see drastic change where we can all afford to pay taxes and not afford to live after paying  taxes. The thing here is, we need to have some checks and balances on all the wasteful spending. That hasn't been done in a long long time. As far as I would go, I'm not sure. I know that there needs to be a change, but how to we accomplish that where people will listen and not get violent?

My values actually help shape who I am and I tend to make decisions based on them. If they were not important values, why would we not protect them and make decisions by them? What I find interesting in today's workplace, people compromise to much over simple things like money and influence. I would like to think that I am able to stick to my morals and values and make the best decisions based on my values. If we compromise them, what are we actually accomplishing and what do we stand for?

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This week I found myself learning things that I hadn't know before but yet I did know. The things talked about this week are things we tend to do in negotiations to gain an edge are things we either do without thinking or we do because we were trained to do. I actually found this week to be very interesting and informing. For the assignment this week, we need to name four ways to evaluate information during negotiations. The ones I chose are as follows:

1) Establish trust – Like a lot of the learning we have done in our graduate programs, trust is something that can make or break a negotiation. It is the job of the seller to make sure that anyone they are trying to sell to is aware that they are not there to lie to them. When the seller does this, there is less of a chance of things going wrong or people not wanting to work with you any longer.

2) Ask direct Questions – In this process, you want to make sure that you are gathering information as carefully and as informative as possible. In a negotiation, the seller wants to ask direct questions and so does the buyer. In each case, there is something to be gained by being truthful. Fewer things are likely to go wrong. This can be linked to point one, trust.

3) Listen Carefully – In some cases, there are people that present false information or try to sell something without actually knowing the buyers needs or knowing the actual product they’re selling. In a buying situation, you want to make sure you are each relating to one another and listening to what each one of you wants. This could allow you to come to a gainful sale and a sale where both parties are happy with the outcome.

4) Keep records and get things in writing – It is very important to keep records of each transaction and the promises that are made during the negotiation process. In some cases, there is a breakdown in gathering this information, leading to a party not being satisfied with an outcome.

My Example – I can relate to the keep records and get things in writing example. Last January, my wife and I bought our first home. During the move we realized that we were moving to a place where internet access was not going to be available. We called a large, well known satellite company and spoke with the representative. This person basically promised me the world along with a bunch of gift cards and promotions for signing up. When the service came, not only was half of the things she told me incorrect, but they didn't even offer some of the services I needed. Needless to say, I did not get anything in writing. What is funny is that “their calls are recorded for quality control”. Obviously that is not the case because no one there believed my story, because the promises were so outrageous, I guess?

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Frame blindness can be a decision maker's worst enemy. In our reading this week, we learned ways in which we can successfully deal with frame blindness and how we can apply this to our daily encounters and to our leadership traits. This week we are to address three ways we can avoid "framing traps". My examples this week are:

1) Understanding the frames of others - It is important to understand your coworkers perspectives and to understand what they're associating certain situations with the problem solving solutions they might be using. Sometimes people will weed out certain topics or simply not mention things that you might, in that case you need to understand that maybe they're framing something differently then you are. When I began working at my current facility, I never understood why a particular coworker was handling decisions differently then I was. I though the way I was handling these situations was the correct way and that there couldn't be another way of doing that. As time went on and I got to know this person and her habits, i understood why she was doing what she was doing. It took me just stepping back and understanding her frames. Had I been more eager to do this immediately, we could have avoided some debates and confrontations.

2) Identify and change inadequate frames - In this matter, you want to ask yourself a series of questions that may help your direction and understanding. The reading this week mentions that we should ask, is our change adaptable to change?, In which case did your frame allow you to see the forest for the trees?, and is our frame sufficiently simple?.There is a need for us to determine if our frames are actually serving our needs and if they're  effective for our current needs. When I changed jobs, I ran into this very issue. I moved from a military environment to a civilian environment and from handling military aircraft to civilian ones. I didn't have the correct tools or frames. It actually took me a while to deal with that situation. Things were happening that I wasn't up to speed on and that I couldn't grasp. I had to (I didn't know it then) change my frames and ask myself a lot of the question outlined in our reading (page 146-147).

3) Recognize Key Assumptions - Th reading outlines that we should research and determine what our organizational frames are. Once you have determined that, you can try and see if you and your organizational are on the same page. Assumptions can play a huge role in the way things get done in a business and if you have one assumption and your company has a different one, you could see potential issues arise. For me, I had a hard time finding out what my assumptions were and what assumptions my company )and my manger) had made about me. There was an understanding of my duties but no real outlining of how I was to complete them and move forward effectively. There was a breakdown between my manager and I because he was expecting one thing and I assumed another.

This exercise has taught me a lot this week. I didn't know anything about framing until this week and it shed new light on how people might be on different wave lengths or think different things and not know it. This has taught me to try and understand those differences and how to tear down the barriers that prevent me/us from being effective together. Moving forward, it'll be interesting to see how I utilize these tools in my work environment. This week opened my eyes to a new way of thinking and understanding.

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 Each time that I can watch Sheena Iyengar, I can honestly say that I learn something. Unlike other presentations I've seen, she has a real way of presenting her data and her information. To begin, she mentions four areas that can help us make choosing a better experience. They are, cut, concertize (concrete), categorize, and condition for complexity. Each one was interesting to learn about this week and I now have a better understanding of how each one can play it's own part in the marketplace.

The first implication I wanted to touch on was the cut aspect. Like she stated, people do not know what to do with themselves when their choices are taken from them. I personally believe that as a society, we want as many choices as possible. Taking what she said into consideration, people don't want there to be less choice even though it would help them in the everyday application of things. When I'm shopping at out local supermarket (Woodmans), I find that my wife and I laugh about how long it takes us to find things and then to decide on what brand to buy. Like Sheena mentions, we have to many choices and it actually makes our buying experience less enjoyable. I doubt the retailers wants to loose customers over their frustration and annoyance. I could see how having less decisions to make in a organizational role could be beneficial to the overall success of the company. You wouldn't want one employee to have to make a lot of minute decisions and have a million options when doing so. In my decision making processes, I like to find the factual information and make an informed choice, limiting any emotional input. So to be able to cut down the information to what is actually factual saves me time and effort in most matters.

The second topic I wanted to focus on is complexity. I feel that every time I have a transaction these days, there is some type pf catch, mail in rebate, little writing, or something we all miss. I'm sure that it has something to do with getting people through the door and then getting them to commit to buying but when did buying get so complex? Like Sheena said, we should try and limit the amount of complex choices we make our shoppers make. If we were able to do that at an organizational level, wouldn't customer have a better time in our store, dealing with us, or remembering how easy we were to work with? As for me, I find it exhausting to have to make complex choices all the time. I just had to deal with picking a TV provider and then choosing between a hundred programming options. Why is TV so hard to set up? Maybe they should look into that so they don't loose a lot of consumers!

I think that I can better my decision making my trying to stick to my moral and religious inputs. Sometimes we are persuaded by secondary influences that are impulsive or less researched. IT is important to me that I don't worry about what other people are doing and to concentrate on what is important for me, my family, and my career. Sometimes we let that get away from us all.